depression

What does the experience of mental illness give us?

luthienthegreen

Today I’d like to share something with you that indirectly arose from a message conversation with Sue from myloudbipolarwhispers. She wrote a post ’Be great at what you do and better at what you don’t do’ which I found really inspiring. It made me think…

‘The gaps in what we do leave a space for others to come in.’

But how does this relate to mental illness? Well, I think anyone who has been depressed, experience trauma or lived with any serious illness would agree it leaves scars. It often leaves holes we can’t fill. 

But it also opens our eyes to something. Suddenly, we feel for that homeless person we pass, we don’t ignore somebody else’s cry for help. We don’t think it’s weak or funny when someone cries, just because they’re a man or we think they’re too old to be emotional in public. 

I’m not suggesting most people would anyway, but you suddenly become much more aware of others’ troubles and experience a huge increase in empathy and understanding.

 

Maybe those scars will never heal and we can’t fill the gaps. But that is when we see that the space was sorely needed. So many people just need someone, anyone to support them and give them a place in their heart, even a small one, because they have no help. Illness and pain means that that space is there for them: because who can turn another away after being so wretched themselves?

So illness gives us the opportunity to see what it really there, and help others in distress.


I’m not sure if this makes any sense, but it’s the only sense I can make of long term illness as a Christian. I’m even less sure I can put it into practise; one can only try.

Any thoughts on this? 

Do share this post if you agree 😊

« The gaps in us leave a space for others to come in. »

    -Luthienthegreen 

30 thoughts on “What does the experience of mental illness give us?”

  1. I agree with you. It is hard for us to sympathize with others when life has been a bowl of cherries! Lol I knew a woman at church who thought people let their children be too loud at church. Her little girl was a shy, quiet moppet. Then she had a boy. He was loud and wouldn’t listen to her. She quit coming to church for quite awhile because he seemed unmanageable. So, she learned the hard way why some children were loud at church.

    My husband didn’t understand people who were sickly. He didn’t have sympathy for them. Then he got sick with a rare form of cancer: Carcinoid Syndrome. He had tumors taken out and lived on, but has always felt weak and sick. He has been a blessing to many people at work and at the hospital over the last 30 years because of his illness. So, yes, I think we are made into better people when we suffer from anything, as long as we go through it with God. He will walk with us as we suffer.

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    1. I’m sorry about your husband, but glad that he could be a blessing to so many other people. I guess sometimes the only way to learn about something is the hard way: by going through it ourselves. Blessings to both you and your husband xx

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  2. I understand what you mean. What I think of is that God maybe has given us this struggle or hole or whatever to bless us is some way. Everything changes us, so maybe this has given us more compassion, love, and has opened us up to possibly help others, like how you have been able to help me. I guess, in a way, God has blessed me.

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    1. You are so kind. I hope I have helped. Mental illness has certainly changed me. I barely knew what depression was before I got unwell with it. I do remember not understanding why someone would be sad if there is no obvious reason…we live and learn. although I would never ever chose anxiety, depression and anorexia, I do feel that there is a reason and that God has been with me and is helping me through. He is helping us through. I hope you have a bearable day, have things improved much now your Mum knows?

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      1. Things have improved. I am less anxious about getting help and it is good to know that I have someone who can help me get professional help. On the other hand, I do not know if this is because I told my mom or what but, at school I was just very anxious about someone finding out. Like if one person knows my secret then pretty soon everyone will know. But, I am hoping that the anxiety goes away soon.

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      2. Yes. Have you got good friends? In my experience people at school were not the most understanding… But I didn’t really have anyone since my friends had left at 16 and I was in the last two years. Is there a school councillor who you could talk to? The only other thing is, if they do find out, mental illness/self harm etc is not something to be ashamed of. You wouldn’t be ashamed of cancer. But I understanding you wanting to keep it private…my policy was always if they don’t ask say nothing and if they do, decide how you think they would react to knowing and whether it would help. xx

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      3. Unfortunately, I left my old school and am now home schooled and go to a co-op(what I now call school), and I have had to leave my friends. Also, there is not a school counselor. Thank you for the rest of the advice.
        God bless.

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      4. Ok. I was homed schooled for a while but that was way before I got ill and I really enjoyed it then. Why did you leave school? Maybe you can still see some of your old friends? It sounds tough. Your welcome about the advice! God bless you too. X

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      5. Ok, ignore the question I looked on your blog. This won’t just go away as long as you hide it. I totally know why you do, how many hours have I spent shaking in toilet cubicles. I don’t know if you’re depressed yet but the problem is, by isolating yourself, it will come. It takes time to open up even to family, but you could perhaps try to tell your Mum what happens at the co-op at some time when you’re not so anxious?

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  3. Nicely done. Very well written. I love this and agree with what you wrote. Thank you for adding my blog name as well. I appreciate that. I love that you did this and I love what you wrote. Very well done. BTW I still love that one line, especially. For some reason it just really spoke to me well… hit me in my heart and soul. “The gaps in what we do leave a space for others to come in.” I just love that because I think it is true in many ways. I think I like it because of the thought that we must leave a space open for others to enter in. If we leave no space and close ourselves off then no one can enter in. Sometimes I don’t leave enough space to let others enter in and I need to leave more gaps for others to enter in. Then maybe I wouldn’t be so lonely….. Anyway fabulous job. Well done and I loved it.

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    1. I think you have left gaps. You left one for me ❤️
      If you’re lonely it’s definately not your fault. Maybe it’s the Illness because people can’t deal with it, I don’t know, but you are lovely and so kind and definately don’t deserve to be lovely.

      It kind of also made me think about illness which is how I came to this. Do you think the quote was better in its original form?

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      1. I love that. Thank you for saying I left gaps for you. That made me smile. I think I have left some small gaps but can’t find the right people to enter in like you. I think the quote is perfect how you wrote it the first time and then you just explained it more fully and in different ways. All of them are beautiful. Love, hugs and many blessings to you, Sue

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      2. Well I struggle to find the right people too.. maybe not all are ready to enter either. We can only work on readying ourselves as much as possible. We have found eachother which is a start and there is our families. God wants us to keep working on it, I think and doesn’t expect us to be ready. The gaps will grow with time at least I hope so. I still find it hard not to just do everything myself. Putting ourselves aside and leaving space for others isn’t easy I think. Have a day full of love and blessings, Lucy
        p.s I think you have left more gaps than most people so remember you are doing really well xx

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      3. Thank you Lucy. You are so kind and I so appreciate your loving words to me. I truly appreciate them and need them so thank you from the very bottom of my heart and soul. You are awesome. BTW you are so beyond wise and compassionate for your young years. Hugs, Sue

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  5. This is a wonderful post and you illustrate the point beautifully ❤ I've suffered from depression for many years, since my teens and perhaps earlier. I also have a long term illness unrelated to the depression but it impacts on it everyday. It's caused me to feel very alone in my life and often an outsider to the people I've known at school and beyond whose lives haven't been so difficult. Their biggest worries have often been about what to wear or will they be popular, whereas I've had to worry about medications and hospital visits to see if things are getting better or worse which has definitely made me think and feel differently.
    I think you are completely right, we often do find a way to sympathise better with people when we have suffered, somehow it also makes us much stronger people. Although on the surface many of us might look as if we don't cope or struggle with situations, I believe those scars, physical and especially the mental ones make us stronger and more able to deal with things in life. Being mentally ill makes you a stronger person, even if we don't always feel that way on the inside….I'm not sure I made sense in what I'm trying to say, I hope I did.
    I really love you illustrations and posts. I hope you don't mind if I share some of them?

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    1. Please do share anything you have found useful! I’m very glad you like the illustrations. I agree, I think mental illness makes us look far weaker than we are. It looks like you are panicking and can’t cope with everyday things but actually people don’t realise that it’s not about that. They don’t see what you’ve been through and that the thing they saw was just the drop that causes the cup to overflow. My family often think a certain thing, eg. a film has upset me because I am very sensitive. What they don’t realise is that it’s not about the film, but about what it has triggered from the past etc. When you’re mentally ill you react to things in a far more complex way than people realise and you often take your past experiences into account in an instance. But you look at people differently, you don’t judge as quickly. I think it helps us to take into account the fact that you can’t see what a person has been through.
      I am sorry you have a long term illness as well, that is really bad luck. I guess in a painful way it shows how precious healthy life really is. I hope you are coping at the moment ❤️
      Do share this with anyone it might help or link or reblog if you like. I’m so happy that it made some sense to someone, I’m never sure if I’m just over analysing the whole thing. Xx

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      1. Don’t worry at all, you aren’t over-analysing 🙂 I have a tendency to do that too, I find it hard to stop sometimes but I do end up thinking about things too much and then beginning to regret doing things I had previously had no worries about doing. I like how you’ve explained it, spot on, people can’t see all we’ve been through. Often the hard stuff we’ve been through has happened to us behind closed doors, away from public eyes so when others see us crying or panicking or seemingly losing control in life they think it’s a weakness. But it’s not. Lovely post and I’ll check in often ❤ ❤ – my internet was down for the whole weekend so I couldn't reply until now :/

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      2. I haven’t been keeping up properly either for the last few days-pretty won out. I think it would be good if society would recognise that mental illness es affect daily life all the time…
        I’m so glad you like my blog 😍

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